As you might have guessed from the blurred pic above, Braxton is particularly difficult to photo. He’s nearly always moving; one of his autism symptoms is a heightened need for vestibular (balance, spatial awareness) stimulation.
In fact, in elementary school, Braxton couldn’t sit and do his work for longer than two minutes before having to get up and pace.
That is, until his education team gave him a yoga ball to bounce on in place of a chair. After that, Braxton could attend to his work for the same length of time as any of the other students.
Braxton’s ball remains one of only two therapeutic devices he continues to use, whether at home or school. The other is a pair of noise-cancelling headphones; he has very sensitive hearing.
What’s a Braxton?
If you read my previous post, then you know Braxton is my 20-year-old autistic son (if you haven’t, do so here).
He’s tall and lanky and nearly always smiling. Most of the time, I just call him “Baby,” but he also answers to “Skinny.”
When someone newly discovers I have an autistic child, one of the first questions I get (next to the stupid vaccine question) is, “Is he high-functioning?”
I’ll try really hard not to rant about this question because:
a) I understand that most people still don’t know the intricacies of an ASD diagnosis,
b) I understand that people assume a parent with an autistic child would rather have a high functioning child than a low functioning, and are trying to be polite in a backwards way, and
c) I always appreciate when people are brave enough to ask about my son and don’t want to reward that by turning Karen.
High Functioning? Well…
Leaving out how offensive the question can be (right next to, “Hey, what’s his special ability?” like he’s part of the X-Men or something), the simple answer is “No.”
Braxton is not considered high functioning.
He requires an extensive amount of support to do schoolwork and has never attended a mainstream class except for PE or music.
He has very limited verbal ability and doesn’t use an alternative communication method of any kind. And he isn’t safe to be left unsupervised.
He is what some call “profoundly autistic.”
And so we’re very clear here, he’s fine the way he is. He is not, and has never been the problem, and not once in his life have I ever wished he wasn’t autistic.
If he wasn’t autistic, he wouldn’t be Braxton.
Which Autism Symptoms Equate to “Profoundly Autistic”?
I understand it better in the way that I learned it, back when Braxton was about 15 months old, before the existence of the DSM 5.
For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s basically a big book of guidelines doctors use to diagnose a wide variety of psychiatric and/or behavioral disorders, including ASD.
Back in the day, in the previous edition of the DSM (known as DSM IV) “autism spectrum disorder” didn’t exist.
Instead, there were four “types” of autism: autism, Asperger’s, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS), and…pluh.
Eh, sorry, I can’t remember the fourth one. It’s been, like, 18 years, okay? And I’m probably short at least five years of sleep.
Whatever, don’t judge me. The important thing here is that Braxton has what was once known as Classic, or “stereotypical” autism.
Back in the Day:
The major difference between autism and Asperger’s was the ability to talk. If the child was verbal, they were considered high functioning and diagnosed Asperger’s.
Otherwise, it was autism and Classic autism was the most severe or lowest functioning form.
The term “stereotypical,” when used to describe Braxton, means he exhibits all of the autism symptoms, behaviors and associated deficits that were originally used to describe autism when Kanner started writing about it.
Braxton flaps, rocks, toe walks, doesn’t make eye contact, ad nauseam.
The only Classic autism symptom that Braxton probably doesn’t have is co-occurring intellectual disability.
If you can get him to care about what you’re trying to show/teach him, he picks it up quickly. That’s been both a blessing and a curse for him; it made classroom placement difficult at times.
Fast Forward to How Autism Symptoms Are Categorized Now
Today, it’s understood that many children with ASD don’t match the classic autism symptom presentation and nevertheless, still have autism.
More than that, it’s now known that an autistic person’s presentation when first diagnosed may change over time.
For example, some children start as non-verbal and relatively low functioning only to gain complete verbal ability and go on to lead relatively functional and independent lives.
Conversely, those that are completely verbal may still require quite a bit of support to maintain independence.
And that’s why the DSM changed. Mostly.
Braxton’s autism symptoms changed over time, too. While his verbal ability remains limited, he’s not completely non-verbal anymore (we speak Braxtonese).
And while he still doesn’t engage with most people unless forced to, if he knows and likes you, he’ll voluntarily interact with you, giving full eye-contact when he does.
He bathes and dresses himself (albeit in the most ill-matched clothing you could think of). He cleans his room and does his own laundry without prompting.
I’m also teaching him chores. He takes out the trash, and loads/unloads the dishwasher much like any other young man his age.
He’s a total smart aleck and thinks it’s funny to irritate people (me) and is suffocatingly affectionate at times.
He loves to eat, go for long drives, swim, and travel. He also loves music, calendars, fragranced wax, and currently, calculators.
A Braxton Mom
My relationship with my son is much like the relationship between other parents and their teenaged children (you all know what I mean- you want to strangle them sometimes but otherwise, they’re your favorite people).
He and I have a lot of similarities and shared interests, and we get along well.
One of our favorite activities to do together is buy calendars for a new year. We also like to go to Bath and Body Works and get new lotions, candles, and room sprays.
We used to like to go out to eat together, but then he became fixated on seafood. Now we go, but…he eats and I try not to throw up while I peel his shrimp for him.
I could go on about him for days. I’m trying to keep this post from becoming a novel, though, so I’ll wrap things up here.
Peace out, homies, and if anyone has any comments or questions, feel free to contact me. I’ll answer as I’m able.
I’m still really new to this and there’s a bit of a learning curve- I’m a nurse, not a web designer- so please be patient with me while I figure this out.
